"As certain as we can be," Anya repeats with a nod, accepting that as enough of a compromise. It isn't an absolute, not the way that he implied before. The world is beyond absolutes, made up of far too many colors to just be black and white. She is affirming that absolutely sure is still so guarantee. Waiting for perfection is an invitation for misery. They have both had more than enough of that. Her life is a gift, a precious thing that she was given at the expense of who she was for so many years. She still is not entirely certain what her role in the world is. This city has given her a firm place to find her bearings. No one expects her to claim a throne that she isn't sure she wants.
All she wanted was a family. Someone to belong to. All the way from Russia to Paris she found that, placed her love and trust in two conmen, caring for Dmitry and Vlad in very different ways. Now she knows what kind of love she felt for Dmitry then, the kind she feels for him now and what kind she feels for Gleb. There are still so many questions, so many ways that this can go wrong again. She isn't even entirely certain that it has been righted.
Trying is all that she can do. She wants that chance to be happy. She wants both men to be happy, for their happiness to be in some part because of her. Gleb believing in happiness is so important to her. Her love for him is a bright red flame. Falling in love is a slow process for her. She has only done it once before, never fully grasped how that man had mattered to her until it was too late. With Gleb she has nearly done the same thing, realizing how strong she cares for him as he died in her arms and then later when time became their enemy. She wishes that she had told him that she loved him for the first time without such a driving force, without the fear that she was going to lose him for forever hanging over her. Her fears had been all but confirmed for the past few weeks.
An opportunity is in front of her, an opening that he has given her. Anya is her mother's daughter, her father's daughter. She won't let it go again.
His apology brings a faint smile to her face as she looks up at him. "I understand," she nods as she steps closer to him, reaching up to brush a wayward lock of black hair back from his face. "You opened the door now. That's what really matters. I didn't want to be in the place where you'd think that I was throwing that chance away or that it was being snatched from me — from us." Her smile brightens just a touch. "I do love you."
no subject
All she wanted was a family. Someone to belong to. All the way from Russia to Paris she found that, placed her love and trust in two conmen, caring for Dmitry and Vlad in very different ways. Now she knows what kind of love she felt for Dmitry then, the kind she feels for him now and what kind she feels for Gleb. There are still so many questions, so many ways that this can go wrong again. She isn't even entirely certain that it has been righted.
Trying is all that she can do. She wants that chance to be happy. She wants both men to be happy, for their happiness to be in some part because of her. Gleb believing in happiness is so important to her. Her love for him is a bright red flame. Falling in love is a slow process for her. She has only done it once before, never fully grasped how that man had mattered to her until it was too late. With Gleb she has nearly done the same thing, realizing how strong she cares for him as he died in her arms and then later when time became their enemy. She wishes that she had told him that she loved him for the first time without such a driving force, without the fear that she was going to lose him for forever hanging over her. Her fears had been all but confirmed for the past few weeks.
An opportunity is in front of her, an opening that he has given her. Anya is her mother's daughter, her father's daughter. She won't let it go again.
His apology brings a faint smile to her face as she looks up at him. "I understand," she nods as she steps closer to him, reaching up to brush a wayward lock of black hair back from his face. "You opened the door now. That's what really matters. I didn't want to be in the place where you'd think that I was throwing that chance away or that it was being snatched from me — from us." Her smile brightens just a touch. "I do love you."