butstill: (pic#11693573)
Gleb Vaganov ([personal profile] butstill) wrote in [personal profile] homelovefamily 2018-02-27 01:38 am (UTC)

Gleb's smile fades some then, his head shaking as he lets that sink in. Perhaps the worst part is that it isn't particularly surprising, merely disappointing. The home he left behind was one barely healing, one war having given way to another; he barely remembers a time without one conflict or another. Knowing that was the case only drives home what he'd thought of the party in the first place. Celebrating a time with a world at war, as her phrasing leads him to believe was the case, while simultaneously ignoring that that was the case is nothing he wants a hand in, any more than he could have supported the displaced Russians trying to relive their glory days at the Neva Club while ignoring what was happening to the rest of their countrymen and why there was such an overthrow in the first place.

"It feels sometimes as if we've always been at war," he admits, a touch of ruefulness in his expression. "I suppose that's one thing to appreciate about this place." It doesn't matter that he isn't quite sure what to do with himself in this strange future, after knowing with such certainty and for so long what his life would be. That changed before he arrived here anyway. He has to believe that there was a purpose to everything they did, for the sake of his own sanity if nothing else, but it's still a difficult thing to imagine all that rebuilding leading to a war-torn nation yet again.

There's still a softness to the way he looks at her and speaks, though, as if confessing something he wouldn't dare to another. Perhaps that's so. Whatever he may feel for her, if he sets that aside, then what's left is the fact that he's closer to her by far than he is to anyone else here, or really anyone at all in a long time. He trusts her. Besides, no one else here truly knows where he came from and the land he left behind.

"I can't say I'm sorry not to have seen it." He wouldn't have lived that long anyway, and they both know it. Now isn't the time to drive that point home, though, and shatter this calm, the quiet implication enough for now. Wherever this tenuous peace came from, and whatever else may be lingering in the air, he'll hold onto it while he can.

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